Thank you for your query. Unfortunately while I enjoyed the suspenseful nature of the cardio and weight training circuit and I think your Pilates class has great promise, your revised use of starches and carbs do not resonate with me as I had hoped, and I am afraid I am going to pass at this time.
Please don’t take this as commentary on your efforts. I’m sure another metabolism would feel differently.
Best of luck with your diet.
Stuck in 2nd Gear
Rejection, by hair
Thank you for submitting your work; I appreciate your thinking of me. It’s obvious you put a lot of time and effort into your blow-drying technique, and I find the headbanging motions combined with finger-combing to be particularly effective and also nicely comedic. That said I feel that your use of Redken products is overdone, and it would take a great deal of work to get your dark roots and split ends to an acceptable state, and so I am afraid I am going to have to pass at this time.
Remember that this business is subjective, and another, less “flippy” haircut may feel differently. Please feel free to query me with other hairstyles.
Best of luck in your styling.
Rejection, by wardrobe:
Thank you for your wardrobe submission. I find the premise interesting and certainly original, and I think you have some talent for color combinations — but your choice of Bermuda shorts and floral print camisole felt forced to me, and paired with the Birkenstock sandals the effect was less than impressive. To be honest I think that it would take more time and effort than I can currently afford to invest to bring your appearance to a level of style that I feel would be presentable. You need to work much harder on your pairing of button-down shirts and capris, and I think a complete overhaul of your shoe closet is in order. Do you have a friend or two who can take you shopping? I think honest feedback early in the process would help you a great deal.
That said, I did enjoy the earrings and the belt, and if you are willing to work on the things I mentioned I’d be happy to look at a revised outfit at a later date.
Best of luck,
The Style Police
Rejection, by makeup
Dear Aspiring SFX Makeup Artist (I assume),
Thank you for your interest. Sadly, while I do appreciate the obvious amount of effort you put into the blending of various shades of eyeshadow and I think your lipstick choice has some promise, I don’t feel that you’ve come anywhere near achieving smoky eyes, nor do I believe that your purple mascara is something I could successfully stand behind.
If I may make a suggestion, it might be useful for you to remember that you are no longer a college student nor are you a spandex-wearing superhero, and it is not Halloween.
And hey, best of luck with your eyeliner.
Last but definitely not least, the classic Revise & Resubmit from Her Doggigess
Thank you for sending me your work. I think it shows promise, and I have given you my thoughts below:
- I very much enjoyed the notion of milk bones hidden in the Kong toy. I think this is a theme you need to draw out: it deserves more time that its currently getting, and I’d like to see it much more often.
- The rope chew is an excellent device: it really gets your point across, and the 3-inch diameter one with woven cords and squeaky ball glued to the end was a truly inspired choice. A few more items like these scattered throughout this would really make things interesting.
- Walks. I can’t emphasize the importance of having at least one walk in every chapter. They’re vastly underrated for no reason that I can see, and they really tie a piece together in ways that defy explanation. Just trust me, and put in as many of them as you can.
- I know that fresh water twice a day and 4 cups of organic kibble is an old standby that seems to wind up in every halfway decent work, but I just want you to remember that it’s there for a reason. Don’t forget it.
- Cats. You can never have too many of them. Just make them a little more helpless, okay? There’s nothing a nice chase scene can’t improve.
- I really didn’t feel that the dog bed was as defined as it deserved to be. I’d like to see that emphasized more: really make it opulent.
- You have a real talent for scratching and ear-rubbing, but the tooth-brushing, nail-clipping, and generally any cleaning activities just don’t add anything to this piece. I think they need to go.
- Baths. Why? I can’t understand this choice. It seems like gratuitous misery, tacked on at random. What is it supposed to add?
- Stop it with the come, sit, stay nonsense. You’re adding unnecessary structure, and it’s getting in the way of things.
- And last but not least – I think this work would benefit immeasurably from the addition of a secondary character, a sidekick-type: I’m thinking Springer Spaniel, about three years old, mostly submissive, but always ready to play. What do you think?
PS: When I say cats, I don’t mean as characters. You get that, right?